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What is Resiliency?

By Peggy Rice, Hope Coach Trainer for Fresh Hope

marzo 5, 2026

I used to think that resiliency meant bouncing back after experiencing something difficult. But I’m starting to wonder if it’s less about bouncing and more about staying, or even moving forward, however slowly.

“Bouncing back” implies returning to who I was before the difficult thing. I picture an old inflatable punching clown, that pops right back up after I hit it. But what if it’s more about becoming someone new because of the hard thing? The baseline has shifted – the person I was is not the person I am now, on this side of difficulty. What if it’s bouncing forward, becoming someone wiser, and more compassionate because of what I’ve walked through?

One definition of resiliency is “the ability to adapt, recover, even grow after difficulty, loss, stress or trauma.” It’s not about avoiding pain, but about learning how to live well in the presence of pain.

Doesn’t that sound like the tag line for Fresh Hope? “Learning to live well in spite of a mental health diagnosis.” Hmm. Fresh Hope – its support groups, its printed materials, its ministries (like Hope Coaching and Refocusing Widows (Reenfocando Viudas)) – is about learning to live in resiliency!

For many of us, either with a mental health challenge (I had a 10+ year journey through depression), or as someone who loves another who has struggles with their mental health, learning to live in a new reality is very important. Whether that mental health journey is just starting, has been a slog for years, or is in the rearview mirror, the person I was is no longer the person I am. I am changed by that mental health difficulty. I was changed in that difficulty.

Resilience means acceptance without resignation.
1. Accepting that this difficulty is part of my story.
2. Refusing to let it be the whole story.
3. Examples: depression may recur; anxiety may flare; bipolar may cycle – but I am still: a spouse, a parent, a leader, a friend, a child of God.
Resilience means differentiation.
1. “I love myself/you deeply, but my/your illness is not my/your identity.”
2. I see this in the Fresh Hope Recovery Principles, Tenet 6
  1. (Person with the diagnosis) “At times I have allowed myself to become a victim, “defined” by my disorder. Therefore, I choose to overcome and live in hope and joy, in spite of my disorder.”
  2. (Loved Ones) “Therefore, I choose to separate the disorder from the person I love, forgive and let go of the past, and live as a contributor to successful recovery.”
Resilience means emotional flexibility in the face of unpredictability. I may have good days, hard days, setbacks, growth, confusion.
1. I will enjoy the good without clinging.
2. I will endure the hard without despair.
Resilience is holding hope without control.
1. I can’t make another person heal.
2. I can’t force insight.
3. I can’t guarantee stability.
4. But I can: love, pray, encourage, invite, demonstrate my own resilience.
Resilience is post-traumatic growth!
1. I came out of my depression experience with greater empathy, spiritual depth, compassion and wisdom.
2. Again, the Fresh Hope Recovery Principles, Tenet 7 – it’s all about taking my circumstances and what I’ve learned, and using that to give back to others, to be a comfort to others, because God has comforted me. (2 Corinthians 1:4)

Let’s look at this topic of resilience through the lens of God’s Word.

There may not be escape from suffering, but God is present in it.
1. Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” God moves toward pain, not away from it.
2. Isaiah 43:2 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you…When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned.” Notice when, not if. Resilience in Scripture assumes hardships are part of life.
Hardships bring endurance and growth, and both are part of resiliency.
1. Romans 5:3-5 “Suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” This is not saying that suffering is good, but that it can produce something good.
2. James 1:2-4 “Consider it pure joy…whenever you face trials…because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” This is about growth and maturity – not about emotional denial.
Resiliency often includes lament, which says: this is not how things are supposed to be, but I will choose to trust the Lord anyway.
1. Psalm 13:1-2 “How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?”
2. Psalm 42:11 “Why, my soul, are you downcast? …Put your hope in God.”
Strength comes from outside of ourselves.
1. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Weakness is a place where God works!
2. Isaiah 40:29-31 “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak…Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.”
There is hope in the middle, not just at the end.
1. Lamentations 3:21-23 “Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed…” My journal is full of one day of crying out to God, with the next day starting in praise and thanks to Him for getting me through.
2. Hebrews 10:23 “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.”
Resilience can be a shared journey…we do this in our Fresh Hope Support Groups.
1. Galatians 6:2 “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
2. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 “Two are better than one…If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”

The science behind resiliency points to several things we can do to help us become more resilient. It can be learned!

Finding meaning and purpose.
1. Oh, I found this one so hard! I kept asking God, “Why? Why am I going through this? When will this stop?” This became my ongoing lament. Until the Holy Spirit prompted me to change the question. Instead of “Why?” it became, “What do You want to teach me in this, Lord?”
2. Changing the question then opened the door to meaning…my suffering tied into something God was allowing in my life, for His purpose. I didn’t get to know what the purpose was, not right away, but because I trust Him, I could reframe my question and seek His direction. And in the process, I rested in Him.
Support and Connection.
1. We are created for relationship. With God. With one another. And resilience can grow in a safe, loving connection. It does NO grow in isolation.
Emotional flexibility.
1. We can hold multiple emotions at the same time:
  1. Grief and Hope
  2. Anger and Compassion
  3. Fear and Courage
Self-compassion.
1. Instead of all that negative self-talk that I say to myself, resilient words are things like:
  1. This is hard.
  2. I’m allowed to struggle.
  3. I’m still worthy.
Realistic Hope.
1. This is not denial.
2. This is not toxic positivity.
3. This is the belief that this moment, this season, is not my whole story.
There are small daily habits I can practice that help me.
1. Journaling – my entries are full of laments – prayers to God where I cry out, complain, and then remind myself of His goodness and sovereignty.
2. Prayer and reflection – these can be breath prayers. This is not about something I do for God, but something I receive from Him.
  1. Jesus, You are here.
  2. Lord, have mercy.
  3. You are my refuge.
3. Practicing Gratitude.
4. Naming emotions instead of denying or suppressing them. I often write them in my journal, just to get them out of my head and onto paper!
5. Telling my story.
6. Allowing support – letting safe people in, even if it’s imperfect.

Resiliency can be learned. It can be practiced. And it grows in community. And that’s what Fresh Hope for Mental Health is all about. Fresh Hope’s Mission Statement: To empower individuals to live a full and rich faith-filled life in spite of a mental health diagnosis. That’s resiliency.

Peggy has been involved with Fresh Hope as a Group Facilitator for over 8 years and as the Hope Coach Trainer for over 6 years. She can be reached at peggy@freshhope.us.

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What is Resiliency?

By Peggy Rice, Hope Coach Trainer for Fresh Hope

marzo 5, 2026

What is Resiliency? Read More...

What is Resiliency?

By Peggy Rice, Hope Coach Trainer for Fresh Hope

marzo 5, 2026

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Darkness Flees from the Light

By Bob Van Dyke

febrero 19, 2026

In a dark room, the absence of light can be scary, but even just a crack of light draws our eyes to it in anticipation and eases fear. In the dark night sky, the stars and moon demand our attention. In the light of the Gospel, Christ draws us to himself. We are not the light; the Light shines for our benefit.

From the Scriptures, God makes himself known. We can see the evidence of God around us by what he created, but only in the Scripture does Christ reveal himself to us, hence faith is then created. Romans 10:17 says, “So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.”

Life can be difficult. Without my faith, I would crumble from hard times. But God gives me hope.

I like this Bible verse, Exodus 20:24b: “Wherever I cause my name to be honored, I will come to you and bless you.” It’s in his church where he’s remembered most. We receive his gifts of the Holy Spirt, mercy, grace and forgiveness. Numbers 6:24-27 says, “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.” 1 John 1:5 says, “This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.”

In John 3:12, Jesus speaks to Nicodemus about earthly and spiritual things. It’s as if Jesus is saying, “My dear Nicodemus, you’re not thinking deeply enough about the earthly things that you can see, so how can you understand spiritual things you can’t see?” Jesus often uses earthly things that are seen to describe the mysterious spiritual things that are unseen. I’ve learned to keep this lesson from Nicodemus in mind whenever I hear of earthy things described in Scripture.

Psalm 23 in whole is a favorite of mine, but in particular verse 4: “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…” When I think about a shadow, this means that something is blocking the light, casting a dark shadow. And if something is blocking the light, the dark shadow itself is actually evidence that there is light present. In the case of Psalm 23, the shadow is cast from being in this valley. It’s so low, it’s as dark as death; light is absent. But it also says I’m walking through it, so I need to move. It’s temporary and I have no need to fear, “Why?” The verse continues; “I will fear no evil, for you are with me.” There’s that crack of light: “for you are with me.” Christ continues to shine his light even when I’m stuck in that shadow. The light does not stop shining, though I can’t see it. Christ defeated death and darkness. He creates a path for us to follow, draws us into the light, and walks with us, so the darkness flees us.

Example: I was driving in my car and a thick puffy black dark cloud covered the sun. There was light all around me but the shadow of the cloud covered me while I was driving. I was in a darker place and couldn’t see as well. I could see the edge of the shadow, the light on the road ahead. Eventually the cloud moved (or maybe I moved far enough to get into full sunlight). The darkness fled from where I was; everything that was hidden by the darkness was now visible. The sun had never actually stopped shining – there was just a cloud blocking the light.

Death can be looked at as a temporal thing, but it’s also a spiritual thing. This is especially true when we think about Scripture where it talks about being dead in our sinful life and alive in a new life in Christ (see Col 2:13-14 or Eph 2:1-7).

Back to Psalm 23. Verse 4 continues: “your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” The rod of his Word corrects and defends me, and the staff guides and directs me. Why? To bring me comfort. If all I’m ever looking at is my old life, all the time, life can look pretty dark (the rod-correct and defend). When I look forward (the staff-guidance), I’m being guided into new life. Luke 9:62 says, “Jesus replied, ‘No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.’” If we really believe our sins and failures are gone and covered by the blood of Christ, then we can say it’s behind us and we are guided into a new life which we now live. By faith we are born again by the Spirit. Something dead cannot make itself alive, but God can – all things are possible with God (see Matthew 19:26b).

My circumstances have nothing to do with what God does in me. I’m a new creation no matter what happens. And I’m able to walk a new direction in a new light.

Here’s another earthly truth, that points to a spiritual one. Back to John 3. Jesus continues in his discussion with Nicodemus, along the lines of, “You had nothing to do with being born here on earth – it was your mom and dad’s doing. Likewise, you are spiritually born of the Spirit by the Spirit. It’s not your doing.” The evidence…The Holy Spirit gives us an epiphany: if I believe in Christ, then that means God drew me to himself by his Word. How wonderful! He loves me so much, to come after me to bring me to belief. In Matthew 18:12-14, Jesus tells the parable about how a man will leave 99 sheep to search for the 1 that wandered off. God searched the world and found someone like me. Then he carried me back into his flock and celebrated. This Isaiah prophecy then becomes true for me personally – Isaiah 9:2: “The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shone.”

In John 15:5, Jesus talks about vines and branches. Think about branches on a tree: how does the branch get its nutrients to form leaves or fruit? And Jesus continues, “apart from me you can do nothing.”

It’s very important to me to keep a practice of reading Gods Word daily. His Word is a light unto my path (see Psalm 119:105). He feeds me when I’m hungry. Gives me drink when I’m thirsty. He takes me in when I have no one. Clothes or covers me when I’m exposed. Visits me when I’m isolated. Heals me from my sin. And loves me and you very much.

I pray you will look up the Scriptures posted here, and seek deeper ways to know God. Like a tree sucking up sap from its roots, so you can stay connected to Christ. I believe you will gain many blessings if you do. Christ’s disciples walked with him every day for 3 years on this earth and still didn’t understand everything. Don’t let that be an excuse. We are changed, growing, being guided and producing his fruit, one step at a time.

Do you believe or not? Jesus help my unbelief! Isaiah 55:10-11: “For as the rain and snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.”

God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. Keep yourself in the light.

About the Author:

Bob has been an aircraft technician for over 40 years and has walked closely alongside loved ones as a caregiver. Through a series of dreams and life circumstances, God stirred in him a deep curiosity for Scripture. With the guidance of faithful people who pointed him in the right direction, Bob believes he discovered his purpose: to reveal God’s love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness to those—like himself—who don’t feel they deserve it. Bob can be contacted at: bvandyke123@gmail.com

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Darkness Flees from the Light

By Bob Van Dyke

febrero 19, 2026

Darkness Flees from the Light Read More...

Darkness Flees from the Light

By Bob Van Dyke

febrero 19, 2026

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No Valentine? What about a BFF?

By Mike Jacquart

febrero 11, 2026

Between Cupid, candy, chocolate and flowers, Valentine’s Day is a very pleasant holiday for many of us. But what about those who do not have a spouse or significant other? What then? It turns out it is possible to change our thinking about this holiday and still experience a positive day.

I did not get married until I was 34. As a result, Valentine’s Day was a bummer for me for a long time. Each year it was much the same. Row upon row of red and white adorned boxes of candy, cardboard Cupids, and Valentine’s Day cards. Who needed this reminder when I did not have a girlfriend let alone a spouse? It was like salt in a wound. My father’s birthday was Feb. 14, so there was always some solace to this date. I also had a few BFFs (best friends forever) for a long time, and they helped. More on that later.

Don’t get me wrong: I still wasn’t nuts about Valentine’s Day. If I saw a Valentine message on TV, I would mute the volume or change the channel. Shopping at a retail outlet was more difficult, so I spent as little time in Valentine’s aisles as I could. It helped. But not always.

I wrote about loneliness in my book, “Climbing out of Darkness: A Personal Journey into Mental Health.” Nearly 300 hundred miles from home, in a small town without friends, and no Internet back then, t was very bored and it was not unusual to cry myself to sleep on weekends. I was so lonely that it did not bother me when my publisher dismissed me from my duties as editor of a small weekly newspaper. I was relieved, not distraught. Moving back move back home with friends and family was more important than the next stage of my career.

While being single doesn’t hold the stigma it used to, a lot of us still define happiness in life as being married with children. But unless you met your future wife or husband in high school, finding the right partner is often difficult. The rise of online dating and technology raises new concerns, such as someone pretending to be someone they’re not, or someone sharing your photos or personal information without your consent.

Obstacles remain even if you don’t frequent Facebook or Instagram. “It’s easy—if you don’t catch yourself—to believe that everyone is in this beautiful, magical relationship and you’re the only one alone,” wrote Chloe Carmichael in the online article, Why is Dating So Hard? She added, “In a survey, one-third of the single people who responded said that seeing these kinds of posts made them feel worse about themselves.” For more information, check out Why Is Dating So Hard?

There’s also the pressure we put on ourselves. “Is it my imagination? Is this person really that terrific?” or “I really like her. What if she isn’t nuts about me?” And so on.

Proverbs 3:5-6 states, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will direct your paths.” In other words, trust God and be patient. This can be difficult, especially once we start moving into our late 20s and parents start wondering if you are ever going to get married. The Lord knows more than you do, who is the right person, and what is the right time. Recognize that until then, dating will often be like trying to put a square peg in a round hole. If the relationship isn’t meant to work, it won’t.

But before we can fully love someone else, we must fully love God and understand his love for us (Deuteronomy 6:4-5.)

Grasping that realization certainly helps! I had some coworkers once who watched all of the awards shows on TV, and dreamt of being famous like them. I would think, “How sad. When you have a relationship with the author of the universe and know that He loves you, being rich and famous means nothing.”

But God also knew it was not good for Adam to be alone, and so he made Eve. It’s true some people are happy remaining single, and I know a few of them. But if you have a deep yearning to find a spouse, like I did, it’s reasonable to assume that God does have someone special in mind for you.

In fact, I met my future wife at a party while I was unemployed and living at home! (I was 31 at the time).

In the meantime, if you don’t have a spouse or significant oher, do what I did and still do in some ways: Take solace in good friendships, and have fun and spend time with them. Put another way, if you don’t have a Valentine in your life, there ‘s a good bet you do have a BFF (best friend forever) in your life. You may not have a “date,” but celebrate anyway and do something fun with a BFF on Feb. 14!

Happy Valentine’s Day to all.

Mike Jacquart belongs to a Fresh Hope support group. A retired magazine editor, Mike enjoys sharing his story of “pushing through” on blog posts, podcasts, and other presentations. For more information, contact him at michaeljacquart56@gmail.com.

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