Several years before my wife’s mental health crisis, we had a major family life breakdown. I had my dream job and was doing well financially. My wife and I purchased a house in my hometown. Our son started school. Family and friends were living nearby. Our marriage was doing well. And then all of a sudden, I lost my job, and everything seemed to go downhill from there.
My job is kind of a specialty job, not available everywhere. With no hope in sight and 50 job applications out, depression and anxiety and paranoia started to creep in to my thoughts. My wife said we needed to go to church and seek God’s hand. Was God saying something to her? We were both believers but we had neglected our relationship with God. There were so many other voices to listen to. I don’t think I would have known if God was talking, even if he was standing in front of me. I hadn’t set foot in a church in over 5 years, and certainly not since we had moved into our house. (My wife went occasionally with our son.)
As hard as it was to go through at the time, I can look back now and see God’s hand in it, even though we pretty much lost everything. That was over 35 years ago, and in hindsight, I can see this was the best thing that ever happened to us. The Bible says in Hebrews 12:11, something like this: “No discipline seems pleasant at the time but later on, when trained by it, it brings peace and righteousness.”
Personally, I believe this was the beginning of God starting to prepare us for many other problems in life we were to face, those things which would actually strengthen our faith. What I’ve learned over the years is to seek and trust God in everything. I can’t say this enough. Start a daily reading plan of the Bible! I was reminded lately, when we recently read at our Fresh Hope group meeting Forty Days of Fresh Hope, a devotional book by Samantha Karraá. Day 35 hit the message right on the head. Samantha talks about the importance of being in God’s Word daily! My only regret is not starting this discipline earlier in life.
After I lost my job, we moved out of state. I felt like I was the Bible’s definition of “exiled.” We moved away from everything familiar and got settled in a new place. But very quickly, we began having troubles with our son’s school. There was a child in his class causing problems, but the school made us out to be the problem because we were bringing it up and asking them to correct it. It got so bad, we decided to move again; being exiled once more. It was during this time, as I was looking for a new job again and we were selling our house, I had some unique dreams.
In the Bible, there are many examples of God speaking to people in dreams. Joseph, Jacob, Samuel and David come to mind. And we hear about people in the Middle East having dreams about Jesus. But what does that look like? For me, the first dream I had woke me up suddenly, and my wife said, “What’s wrong?” I said, “I had a dream,” but could only remember that it was about Psalm 69. My wife grabbed her Bible and read it aloud, and we both started to cry: it was confronting our deep hurt with exactly what we were going through. A few weeks later, I had another dream, this time about Psalm 103, but when my wife read it, we didn’t notice anything: no emotional response. I wondered if God was talking but I wasn’t listening. In this way, God made me curious. As a result, I made a commitment to God to read the whole Bible.
I read the whole thing in about 3 months. I’ll tell you the truth: I didn’t get a lot out of it and I think I know why. I was reading for the wrong reason. I wasn’t expecting to hear from God at all. I just wanted to get it done to say I did it (like a work).
I started my new job, and so we moved again. This time we wanted to show God we were committed. We looked for a church home first, then a place for us to stay. Because of the problem we had experienced at the public school, we enrolled our son in a Christian elementary school.
My new job lasted only about 5 months, and then I was told I would be getting laid-off. Seemed like more bad news. Did I have a black cloud over my head? I went home, told my wife and a few minutes later, the phone rang. My old job was hiring, back in my hometown, and wanted me to start as soon as I could – with full pay, seniority and all the benefits. We could hardly believe it! We had been praying for this even before I started the job I was currently working. Now we were returning back to where it all began.
My wife stayed until our son’s school year was finished. I moved in with my parents. When my wife and son joined me, we looked for a church with a school before we started looking for a house. We were now committed to our faith and never turned back. After we moved into our new home, my wife bought me a Bible with a Daily Read The Bible In A Year plan in it. I started using it and have been on that plan ever since. I didn’t yet know it, but God was preparing me in advance for my wife’s mental health crisis. I don’t think our marriage would have survived her breakdown if it hadn’t happened this way.
My main point is: how can we hear God if we do not recognize his voice? With so many voices out there, wouldn’t you want to know if he was saying something that could help you? His word says, “My ways are not your ways, my timing not yours.” I learned this truth by reading his word and comparing it to what was going on in my life. Sometimes it’s a prompt to pray for something. Or is it a prompt to do something, or to stay away from something that I wouldn’t normally do? Who is prompting you? The Bible says in Romans 12:2, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” God’s word is living and active; he is wanting us to listen.
I don’t care who you are, nothing is impossible with God. I can say that I personally think very differently now, compared to when I first started reading the Bible every day. It has been for my good. Some online Bible apps will even read the Bible to you. God’s word has and is renewing how I think. Don’t ask me how, but I give all glory to God. It took the Holy Spirit to get my attention. There were times that something bad happened, like my job loss or my wife’s breakdown, but that’s not always the case. God’s word is always speaking, no matter our circumstances.
As an example, I was preparing for this blog. I already had in mind of writing something about how reading the Bible has helped me. I started to write down little things, bits and pieces of ideas that would come to mind. Then, we read the devotional about reading the Bible at our Fresh Hope group. Then my pastor for Lent started sermons on how to read the Bible. I was also reading a book Saved by Angels by Bruce Van Natta and his book began with listening to God. All of these things came together at the same time. Coincidences? I say no! It’s happened to me too many times. God finds ways to get our attention. Over the years now, I can see many times these things happened this way; they are not coincidences.
From listening and putting learned things into action (obeying), I received back more blessings than ever. It’s God through his Holy Spirit that enables us to have a quicker response, which has benefited me with greater peace. Struggling against God is tiresome. Some of the gifts I have received are better than I ever had before I lost my job! Especially my greatest treasure: the blood of Jesus which gives me mercy, grace and forgiveness. I have much more love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and self-control; of these I am always in need. This is walking in the Spirit. Having these gifts is like having the unobtainable high mountains in your life bulldozed down, while at the same time filling in the lows and valleys. Making life easier to go through and making a straight path to get where I’m going quicker.
What happens to you when you’re looking at a life mountain you can’t climb or a valley so dark you can’t see anything? In Philippians 4:11-13, Paul says he learned the secret to being content whatever the circumstances. I’m telling you it’s impossible to get this contentment without responding back to God’s love. I have to wonder how many opportunities I have missed – or might miss – if I respond to God’s love by listening and obeying him.
Fresh Hope for Mental Health Tenet 7 says that our sharing helps and heals. I believe this is because we’re giving away fruit that God has produced in us. For me, 2nd Corinthians 1:4 has given purpose for the life struggles I went through; “(He) helps us in all our troubles, so that we are able to help others who have all kinds of troubles, using the same help that we ourselves received from God.”
Some of the hard times have passed; I feel as if they have been redeemed by God. Romans 8:28: “God works all things together for the good of those who love him…” That’s true whether we hear his voice or not. It’s just simply true because God said so. Getting closer to God has given me more peace and contentment, as I am seeking his love better in my heart.
Who would think that losing everything and being driven away from what I wanted most could end up being the best thing that ever happened to us? If you’re struggling through something difficult, seek the Lord with all your heart. When we read the Fresh Hope Tenets, they include the verse Jeremiah 29:11. But what about the next set of verses? Verses 12-14 say, “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you,” declares the Lord, “and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.”
Let the word of God – in his timing – comfort you. And as you get to know him better, expect him to speak healing into your life.
Oh, by the way, Psalm 103 is now my wife’s favorite go-to Psalm for comfort.
Bob is a child of God, husband, father and an aircraft technician for over 40 years and has walked closely alongside loved ones as a caregiver. Through a series of dreams and life circumstances, God stirred in him a deep curiosity for Scripture. With the guidance of faithful people who pointed him in the right direction, Bob believes he discovered his purpose: to reveal God’s love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness to those—like himself—who don’t feel they deserve it. Bob can be contacted at: bvandyke123@gmail.com
