Bipolar is like a mountain when don’t have energy for climbing.
Memories of special times are blocked. When family talks about previous trips and events we may not remember details and unable to recall events. Others wonder why we are not involved in the conversation.
A friend once confided that she had few memories of her kids birthdays and Christmases as they were growing up. Looking at pictures from the events helped with recollections.
What can you do? Instead of feeling left out, enjoy their reminiscing. Yes, it is sad that your memories are blocked but we can choose to focus on the sadness or enjoying what the family remembers.
Some times we panic when making a phone call afraid we won’t remember something crucial in the conversation. Thoughts can be lost in a foggy mind. Some find writing down what they are going to say before the call helpful. Keeping post-it notes by the phone help us to jot down received calls to help keep track of important phone calls.
When the mountain seems to be impossible the Bible reminds us, “I lift my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord the Maker of heaven and earth.” (Ps 121:1-2)
Regardless of our struggles, God is bigger. He has made heaven and earth. Everything is in His hands.The One who made the mountains is the one of holds us in His hand.
When darkness settles in on our journey up the mountain, God is watching over us. When lost in the confusion of thoughts, when we have anger over being bipolar, God is watching over us. “He will not let your foot slip—he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.” (Ps 121:3)
When discouragement beats down, exhausting us like the heat of the desert, remember the Lord is your shield. There will be brief moments of refreshing along the rugged journey. It may be reading a book gives a brief respite for a moment. A friend may make you laugh. Exercise may help you feel better for the moment.
Our depression may seem like darkness in the night. A consuming darkness from which we may want to give up. But the moon is shining, punctuating the darkness with a sliver of light.
“The Lord watches over you. He is your shade at your right hand, the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.” (Ps 121:5-6)
We find ourselves seeking additional treatments to stabilize our lives. It takes experimentation to find the right meds at the right dosages to create the unique drug cocktail to bring some stability in our lives. We may need additional treatments such as ECT or TMS. .
Over time our bodies can become habituated to some medicines. Then the search is on for another replacement medicine. We find ourselves coming and going, searching while suffering from depression or manic episodes.
It is then that we remember that God is God. And when we feel like everything is out of control that “the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.” (Ps 121:8)
And when we are brokenhearted we believe that God is close to the brokenhearted. We begin to trust not our feelings but our faith.
We climb the mountain one step at a time.