Family: More than Genealogy

Mike Jacquart

Tracing your genealogy is interesting. In my own case, I learned I’m not part-Irish as I thought for many years but part-Scottish, and that my maternal great grandparents still lived in “the old country” – Bohemia, known today as the Czech Republic.

While our own personal ancestry certainly helps shape who we are and who we become as adults, who we are related to often serves as a person’s sole definition of “family.” In my humble opinion, nothing could be further from the truth. Let me explain.

Commercials, movies, and TV programs frequently portray family this time of year as a warm, fuzzy, Norman Rockwell-type picture of Christmas as a bonanza full of food, presents, freshly fallen snow, a crackling fireplace, and other pleasantries and fun. They may even paint a partially accurate picture of your own holiday experiences. If so, count your blessings!

But this is obviously not the case for many of us. Perhaps these scenes were true at one time, but children grow up, parents and other loved ones die, and other circumstances change that drastically alter our holiday season. As a result, it can be difficult to not throw a pity party when we hear about other people with family who are visiting and children to buy presents for when that is not the case for us.

With no children, one living aunt, and one parent still with us, Christmas is not as cheerful a time of year as it used to be. I try hard to not give in to sadness, bitterness, or resentment. While I’m not always successful, when I look around and see just what I DO all have to be grateful for, my negative feelings subside. This is especially true when, as a friend of mine reminded me, “family does not have to be blood, just as you are all my family.”

Indeed! I have been blessed with a loving wife, great little dog, and scores of wonderful friends, some of which I’ve known for many years, while others not nearly as long. But they’re ALL terrific people I am grateful to have in my life, and I feel a personal connection to all of them. They too, are “family”.

In other words, family is what we make of it. Take time to truly enjoy the special people in your life this Christmas season, and I think you’ll find that while who we are related to remains important, there is more to family than our bloodlines. A lot more.

Personal connections mean a lot. But most important is taking time to reflect on the “reason for the season,” the birth of our savior, Jesus Christ. If you do that, I think it likely you will have a “Merry Christmas” regardless of who is in your life, and who isn’t.

Mike Jacquart is the author of Climbing out of Darkness: A Personal Journey into Mental Wellness. For more information, contact Mike at madjac@tds.net