
The Long First Step: Asking for Help by Pastor Rick Qualls
It is a paradox that strength comes when we are ready to admit that we are unable to do save things alone. It does not make us weak it makes us smart.
It is a paradox that strength comes when we are ready to admit that we are unable to do save things alone. It does not make us weak it makes us smart.
When you love someone that is experiencing deep depression it can be exhausting and frustrating. You want to encourage your loved one but don’t want to push them too much. Encouraging them to “push through” but knowing when not to do so is a delicate balance. You might even find yourself feeling the depression emotionally. No doubt caring for someone who is in the depths of depression can feel as though life is being sucked out of you. You can end up having no idea as to how to help or encourage your loved one.
For years prior to this interruption I had felt as though I had a monster inside of me that I had to manage.
After an initial diagnosis of depression, the best thing you can do is become informed, for you and your child. Jumo Health, a digital health resource for families, offers a depression discussion guide which provides questions to help foster conversation with a doctor after a diagnosis.
t’s human nature to want justice. We want the other person to pay for what they did. At the very least we want an apology. Deep down we even question whether the way we were treated contributed to triggering our mental illness or worsened it.
How were you hurt at the hands of another? Were you bullied, made fun of, or stigmatized because you were different from your peers? Maybe you were hurt, or continue to be, in a relationship. They didn’t understand so they said hurtful things, ignored you, or walked away, leaving you feeling abandoned and alone. I’ll let you fill in the blank.
Depression lies.
It convinces you, ‘“My friends don’t want to be around me.” “I’ll just bring everyone else down.” “I am not worthy of having friends.” “Nobody likes me anymore.”
When you are depressed, making and keeping friends can be a challenge. But research shows that a group of positive friends makes a difference.
As a family, where faith is paramount, we found that there wasn’t really any help within the church. We traveled from church to church because our son believed that surely we would find the right place where this ‘problem’ could be dealt with once and for all. Our search in the Christian community was met with one pastor who told us the problem was solved, “we cast out all the demons.” Steve was excited, “finally someone found the problem and I’m going to be ok.”
Probably one of the most peculiar things about hope and hopelessness is that they can co-exist in life. When I reflect on the greatest difficulties and deepest depression that caused extreme despair in my life, it was hope that got me through the hopelessness. But it was not the “wishful-thinking” kind of hope that life would get better that got me through the hopelessness. That kind of “hope” is nothing more than wishful thinking that things may or may not get better. And that kind of hope was not enough for me. Hoping that things might get better could not even bring about the smallest of cracks within my despair.
David practices dealing with his enemies with the spiritual tool of meekness. Meekness is not weakness. Meekness is strength under control. Here are some ways we can use meekness to manage depression.
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