Ever have “one of those days?” The kind where the problems – the tiny, insignificant things that don’t go right – well, they just pile up on top of each other. It’s not one big thing; it’s a string of little disappointments.They seem too small to mention individually, but together, they leave me emotionally worn thin.
I bump the water, which spills the coffee grounds and the mug all over the counter, dripping down the side – that 1” between the cupboard and the fridge. I drop the book – 3 times! – as I’m trying to grab it off the table. The light bulb over the bathroom sink is burned out, so I can’t see my hairstyle or my makeup or if my shirt looks good with these pants, and I’m already running 5 minutes late. The garage door won’t close when I push the remote. I hit every red light on the way to work. Someone is parked in my assigned spot. And it’s not even 9 am yet!
None of these are tragedies. But somehow, they pile up emotionally. It’s like:
- Drip, drip, drip.
- Death by a thousand cuts.
- The straw that broke the camel’s back.
- One thing after another.
- The hits just keep coming.
- Running on fumes.
- Taking on water.
Sometimes, what exhausts us isn’t one catastrophic event. It’s dozens of tiny disappointments, all at the same time. And for those of us carrying anxiety, depression, grief or exhaustion, these little frustrations rarely stay little for long. Our discouragements multiply quickly. But thankfully, so does grace.
And maybe that’s why I’ve been thinking about the little boy who offered Jesus five loaves and two fish. I wonder if he almost stayed quiet. Because honestly, his offering was ridiculously small compared to the need. Too little. Too insignificant to matter. And yet somehow, in Jesus’ hands, it became more than enough. Baskets of food left over.
I realize how often life feels like that. Like all I have to offer is a string of disappointments, things that didn’t go right, didn’t go according to my plan. What can I offer God, when all I feel is discouragement? Can He do anything with the little that I have to offer? When I’m tired, and weary, and feeling pulled in several directions at once? When my “To-Do List” is too long to do?
God has always worked through offerings that looked insufficient. A sling and a stone. Five loaves and two fish. A mustard seed. A widow’s tiny offering. Ordinary fisherman. Again and again, Scripture reminds us that God multiplies what we surrender, no matter how small.
I remember many years ago, when I was in and out of depressive episodes (this happened to me for over 10 years), arriving at church for the Depression Support Group that I was to lead that night. I saw the Small Groups Leader, and she asked how I was doing. I told her I really didn’t know how to lead our small group that evening, although I had a topic prepared.
I had started feeling low a few days earlier, and could tell that I was headed into another depression. “How am I supposed to lead the group when I feel like this? I’m not in a good head-space. I’m struggling.” Her advice? “Lead from where you are. Tell the group.”
I wondered if that was such a good plan – after all, shouldn’t I be completely together, mentally and emotionally? What would the group think if they knew I was weak, insufficient, inadequate? But I followed her wisdom. I opened the meeting in prayer, and then, as always, said we would go around and share how we were doing this week. I began, “I’m not feeling great right now, and I think that I’m headed into another depressive episode.”
The group’s response was overwhelming – I still get goosebumps when I think about it. They rallied around me – they were kind and empathetic and encouraging. They prayed for me. They handed me tissues! They understood – completely – and they told me that they appreciated that I was willing to be vulnerable and honest with them. It was one of our best meetings, with everyone being open and honest, sharing from their hearts.
God has big plans, but He wants to use us in the process. And we are not big. We are little and inadequate and flawed and human! God knows our weakness…He created us! And God is all knowing – He is intimately aware of what we’re facing, what our circumstances are, and even how we’re feeling about it. And He chooses to use us anyway.
I Corinthians 1:27: Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10: Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast in my weakness, so that the power of Christ can work through me.
2 Corinthians 4:7: We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.
Isaiah 40:29: He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.
Psalm 103:13-14: The LORD is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust.
Hebrews 4:15-16: This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.
Romans 8:26-27: And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.
Some days, all I seem to have are a few loaves, a couple of fish, and a tired heart. But maybe God has always been comfortable working with “not enough.” So I will give Him my “not enough,” and watch as He multiplies it exponentially for His glory and His kingdom.
Peggy has been involved with Fresh Hope as a Group Facilitator for over 8 years and as the Hope Coach Trainer for over 6 years. She can be reached at peggy@freshhope.us.
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