Six Living Well Principles for Those Who Love Someone with a Mental Health Diagnosis
My wife is an amazing woman. She has loved me at my worst. My mental health challenges have taken a toll on her and also our children. But, today we are more in love than ever before, and we have great relationships with our adult children. However, my wife would tell you that she had to learn how to take care of herself emotionally when I was at my worst. To be a caregiver long term she had to discipline herself with principles of wellness for herself.
Mental Illness is like so many other diseases; it affects the entire family and close friends as they attempt to love and care for their son, daughter, spouse or close friend who is struggling with a mental health condition. Thus, it is just as imperative for those who are the loved ones (caregivers) to apply wellness principles to themselves as they make the journey along with their family member or friend who has a mental illness.
When our Fresh Hope groups meet both those who have a mental health diagnosis along with their loved ones all meet in the same group for the first half of our meetings. When we started Fresh Hope we initially only had principles of recovery (we call them tenets) for those who had a mental health diagnosis, and we discovered something significant; those who were loved ones needed wellness principles too!
When loved ones don’t take good care of themselves emotionally as the care for someone who has a mental health diagnosis they can develop a mental health challenge themselves.
So, here are the wellness principles for those who are the spouses, kids, sons and daughters and friends of those of us who have a mental health diagnosis:
PRINCIPLE #1
El reto de salud mental de mi ser querido también me ha dejado sintiéndome impotente y sin esperanza. Por lo tanto, elijo la ayuda de otros para aprender acerca del trastorno y elegir límites saludables para mi mismo.
Juntos, tenemos entendimiento. Nos recordamos los unos a los otros del amor del Señor, y que solamente Él puede hacer todas las cosas. Él es la Fuente de nuestra esperanza y en Él Podemos superar todas las cosas.
“Todo lo puedo en Cristo que me fortalece.” Filipenses 4:13 (NVI)
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PRINCIPLE #2
No siempre he respondido a la situación de salud mental de mi ser querido en maneras que fueran buenas para la relación. Por lo tanto, elijo aprender mejores maneras de comunicarme con, apoyar y animar a mi ser querido.
Juntos, nos comprometemos a hablar la verdad en amor, sanando relaciones rotas y mirándonos el uno al otro como el Señor nos mira.
“Por lo tanto, sigamos lo que contribuye a la paz y a la mutua edificación.” Romanos 14:19 (RVR1995)
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PRINCIPLE #3
At times I don’t understand my loved one and can allow them to either wallow in their excuses or push them too hard. Therefore I choose to learn healthy, appropriate ways to contribute to my loved one’s recovery.
Juntos nos va mejor que tratar de salir adelante solos. Vamos a pedirnos cuentas unos a otros para aprender, crecer y elegir empujar hacia adelante en esperanza.
“Por eso, anímense y edifíquense unos a otros, tal como lo vienen haciendo.”
1 Tesalonicenses 5:11 (NIV)
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PRINCIPLE #4
Hay momentos en los que yo también me siento sin esperanza, permitiendo que las acciones y la recuperación de mi ser querido definan mi felicidad. Por lo tanto, elijo vivir con límites emocionales saludables, y elijo mi propio gozo a pesar de los altos y bajos de mi ser querido.
Juntos nos recordamos los unos a los otros que nuestra esperanza y gozo vienen del Señor. Solamente Él puede llenar nuestras necesidades en todo aspecto de nuestras vidas.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you
and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
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PRINCIPLE #5
Yo también he sido parte del ciclo disfuncional de vivir, ya sea pensando que yo tenía todas las respuestas o pensando que el problema no me pertenecía a mí. Por lo tanto, elijo someterme a mí mismo a aprender nuevos comportamientos y a tomar responsabilidad por mi propio vivir saludable y balanceado.
Juntos elegimos libertad por sobre el sufrimiento, y gozo en vivir por medio del auto conocimiento en acción.
“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corintios 10:5
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PRINCIPLE #6
At times, I have viewed myself as a victim of my loved one’s behavior and disorder, living in resentment, anger, unforgiveness, or self-pity. Therefore, I choose to separate the disorder from the person I love, forgive and let go of the past, and live as a contributor to successful recovery.
Juntos, compartimos en las victorias los unos de los otros y celebramos a la persona completa.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind.” 2 Timoteo 1:7
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