\”NOT Mastered By Sickness”—5 Gritty Practices That Tell A Heroic Story About Jesus

By Scott Box

Leading worship music helped me begin to understand how to manage Bipolar disorder. In the same way, Bipolar disorder gave me a unique angle to evaluate and practice Christian worship—as a way of life. Here are the five gritty practices, born out of desperation, that I use to discover and declare a heroic story about Jesus (and NOT be mastered by sickness):

1. Wrestle God
2. Be HEROic
3. Chop Wood
4. Lift Rocks
5. Make Babies

• WRESTLE GOD—Wrestling with God seems like a stupid or even sinful thing to do. The ancient Hebrew father, Jacob, gained the provision and blessing of confidence that came with having wrestled with God and not “lost.” “You chose to grapple with God, now no man will overcome you.”—Genesis 32:28 (paraphrase). But wrestling with God caused Jacob a wound that he carried with him the rest of his life—he walked with a limp because God popped his hip out of its socket. My wound—Bipolar disorder—made me desperate. Desperation made me dependent on a friendship with Jesus. My friendly dependence on Jesus made me create and repeat a daily rhythm to achieve health. I don’t know if this was the way desperation worked for Jacob, but it is how it worked for me. As I learned to manage my “wound,” I regulated my health by submitting myself to mental boundaries and everyday practicalities like taking medication, healthy nutrition and portion control, even making my bed, brushing my teeth and drinking lots of water. I dedicated myself to lifestyle routines like counseling, exercise, and scripture study. All these disciplines became necessary for balance. And my balance allowed Bipolar disorder to not master me. I gave the Master (the Great Hero, Jesus Christ) control of my mental crisis. I worshiped Jesus through my way of living. My rhythmic management contributed to my health—not perfectly, but rhythmically. Wrestling with God taught me that “God leverages pain (sickness) to point to promise, to provision and to purpose.”
• Be HEROic—To be HEROic means that I pursue and reflect the Great Hero, Jesus Christ, in the way He pursued and reflected God, His Father, the Great Storyteller. In other words, like Jesus, I place my confident HOPE in God’s eternal promises for humanity. I EXPECT God will come through for me in His timing and ways. Hope and expectation give me immeasurable REST. And His rest inspires me to OBEY Him as I work to know and allow Him to know me (even though He already knows me). I use HERO as a daily prayer tool. I express my HOPE and EXPECTATION to accept His REST and proclaim my willingness to OBEY and seek to do His will, not my (sick) will. I can’t be Jesus, but I’m supposed to try—I long to be HEROic. 
• CHOP WOOD—Chopping wood refers to becoming a selfless, obedient servant—I call this type of person an S.O.S., And S.O.S.s tend to ping on the radar of people who do not follow Jesus. At the church our family attends and serves, we literally chop wood as a specific ministry to the poor who cannot heat their homes in Central Oregon. But “chopping wood” also has to do with obeying Jesus’ teachings in the Sermon on the Mount (Mathew 5), doing “God stuff” by giving the fruit and gifts of the Spirit to God and others, being heroic like Jesus is heroic (Galatians 5 and 1 Corinthians 12), being Christlike (Ephesians 4). This means that I long for the heroic image of God to be restored in my life, my story (John 7:35-38)—It is possible. I’ve lived it. I regularly think of being a selfless, obedient servant, S.O.S. in my daily living—from picking up trash on the street to thanking a person with a smile or quietly ignoring an offensive comment. I’m not perfect, but I am far less selfish (sick) than I used to be. I “chop wood.”
• LIFT ROCKS—Lifting rocks involves exploring the unending mysteries of life and eternity with each other. We can pick up stones and explore underneath to widen and expand (health) instead of reduce or neuter (sickness). Lifting rocks has to do with working to shape people’s imagination to create a longing for Jesus. As a music leader and storyteller, I live to “lift rocks” and blow people’s minds with Jesus’ power to transform people into heroes like Him. 
• MAKE BABIES—Making babies is both fun and necessary. Grin. But seriously, I facilitate two things related to lifestyle worship and “making babies:”“Discovery. Declaration.” To put it another way, I have discovered my Rescuer, and I must declare my rescue. The Gospel of Jesus Christ, the Great Hero, does not share itself. God made our stories necessary to tell His story—it is His plan, not ours. “So the woman left her water pot and went into the city, and *said to the people, “Come, see a Man who told me all the things that I have done; this is not the Christ, is He?” They left the city and were coming to Him.”—John 4:28-30 NASB2020. My job is to “make babies” and leave worship healthier for the next generation than my parents’ generation left worship for my generation (sickness). I can leave it healthier when I live in a way that inspires and invites others into Jesus’ grand heroic narrative by sharing my gritty story. I must help people discover and declare Jesus—The woman at the well did. I have learned that telling my story reminds me that I am desperate for Jesus to save the day every day. God changes the heart of people, but I must tell the stories. I tell my story to “make babies,” to replicate myself. I must—Because people will needlessly suffer if I do not (sickness). 

These practices do not encompass the entire Christian experience but serve as handles I regularly grab in my journey with Jesus, to tell a heroic story about Him. They are tools I use to give stability and provide a vantage point to reestablish clarity when Bipolar disorder unbalances me (sickness). These practices are how I prepare to lead worship music and serve others. Ultimately, these practices are how I work to live my worship and become a gritty means to Jesus’ heroic end.

As you learn to integrate your lifestyle of worship into your management of your health, how do you:

1. Wrestle God?
2. Be HEROic (hope, expect, rest, obey)?
3. Chop Wood?
4. Lift Rocks?
5. Make Babies?

I hope these gritty practices become helpful for you as you grapple for wholeness. Maybe they will inspire you to create your practices of your own. No matter what, I pray that your gritty lifestyle of worship will help you manage your health—NOT be mastered by sickness. 

Have a great month discovering and maybe even declaring your gritty story that tells a heroic story about Jesus. —Scott

Scott and Kariann Box live in Redmond, Oregon. Scott serves as Pastor of Development at Shiloh Ranch Church and has been a worship leader for over twenty-five years. Kariann works as a Realtor in Central Oregon and supports Scott’s…creative spirit. They have two children, a one-hundred-pound Labradoodle and a four-pound Shih Tzu without teeth. Scott is the author of HEROIC DISGRACE: Order out of chaos. Hope out of fear. ― A Worship Hero Story