Envision a Yule log burning in a fireplace, a brightly decorated Christmas tree, and children still in their pajamas happily tearing open their presents. A joyous scene for sure, but this version of Christmas Day is a pipe dream for many.
For those of us suffering from depression, anxiety, or other mental health challenges, the holidays can be a sad and difficult time that we struggle to get through rather than a season we eagerly await. The media can make us feel even worse because they condition us to think that a Norman Rockwell-type scene is the type of happy thinking we should be experiencing.
If you are feeling challenged by the holidays, the first step in coping with the holidays is to plan ahead. The importance of this cannot be overstated. Try to do the following:
Acknowledge your feelings. It’s OK to feel down. It’s OK to take time to cry or express your sadness. You can’t force yourself to be happy just because it’s the holiday season.
Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious, or other social events. One Fresh Hope member, “Dan”, told me he works as a bell ringer for the Salvation Army. lf getting out of your house or apartment isn’t an option, many organizations have websites, online support groups, social media sites or virtual events. They can offer support and companionship.
Talk it out. If you’re feeling stress during the holidays, it also may help to talk to a friend or family member about your concerns. Try reaching out with a text, a call or video chat. If you are in counseling or group therapy, talk about your holiday concerns in advance with them. Fresh Hope support groups are a safe place to find encouragement and hope. As the saying goes, “You can’t keep doing things the same way and expect different results.”
Volunteer. Doing something to help others is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden social connections. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or drop off gifts to children who are hospitalized or impoverished. Dan said in volunteering he is not only “giving” but “receiving” even more.
Be realistic. The holidays don’t have to be perfect or just like before. As we change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold onto and be open to creating new ones. Another Fresh Hope participant said she bakes and decorates Christmas cookies for her neighbors each year. “They were surprised at first, but now they really look forward to getting them,” Suzanne said. Even though your holiday plans may look different this year, you can still find ways to celebrate.
Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling overwhelmed and resentful. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can’t participate in every project or activity.
Stick to a budget. Before you do your gift and grocery shopping, decide how much money you can realistically afford to spend. Then be sure you stick to your budget. Don’t try to buy happiness with gifts.
Remember “the reason for the season”. This is not always easy with seemingly endless commercials with Santa Claus, elves, and reindeer. Take time to contemplate one of the scriptures surrounding the birth of Jesus Christ. Isaiah 9:6 “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given…Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”
Parts of this post were excerpted from “Climbing out of Darkness: A Personal Journey into Mental Wellness” with Marina London LCSW. It is available at https://www.amazon.com/Climbing-out-Darkness-Personal-Wellness/dp/B0BQ58KJH4
Marina London, LCSW is a former director of clinical services for a national employee assistance program. She is also certified in providing Empowered Relief®, a new psychoeducational program that helps people suffering from chronic pain. Contact Marina at marinalondonlcsw@gmail.com.
Mike Jacquart belongs to a Fresh Hope support group. A retired magazine editor, Mike enjoys sharing his story of “pushing through” on blog posts, podcasts, and other presentations. For more information, contact him at michaeljacquart8@gmail.com.
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