{"id":2158,"date":"2018-05-07T01:34:12","date_gmt":"2018-05-07T01:34:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/freshhope.us\/?p=2158"},"modified":"2025-07-04T18:30:39","modified_gmt":"2025-07-04T23:30:39","slug":"how-to-manage-shame-when-you-are-depressed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/freshhope.us\/es\/how-to-manage-shame-when-you-are-depressed\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Manage Shame When You are Depressed"},"content":{"rendered":"

As a pastor when I talk about my bipolar I feel shame.<\/span><\/p>\n

Yes, I know I shouldn\u2019t. Bipolar is a disease. Stuff happens and bipolar happens to be my stuff. I am staying level with meds and self-care. <\/span><\/p>\n

But there are times when I feel worth-less because of my disease. Shame can be part of the feelings of mental illness.<\/span><\/p>\n

I know some of the thoughts people have to discovering my illness. \u201cHe is weak\u2026I can\u2019t trust a weak pastor.\u201d \u201cHe is flawed.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cPoor guy I can\u2019t help but feel sorry for him.\u201d \u201cIf he is unstable I can\u2019t take my problems to him.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cOh, we have to handle him with kid gloves. He can\u2019t handle church problems.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

Others say, \u201cI am glad my pastor is being real about his life. Maybe he can understand me.\u201d \u201cI am going to support him through tough times.\u201d \u201cWe all have problems, so does he.\u201d \u201cHe is being authentic with us.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Who thinks what? It is hard to read faces as I talk. Often there is little feedback. But in following days behaviors reflect their thoughts.<\/span><\/p>\n

Shame is not unusual when you have bipolar. Psychologists define six primary emotions: anger, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness, and surprise.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Roughy 75% of those depressed have a co-diagnosis of anxiety. Depression is powerful as it combines two primary emotions together, fear and sadness. Shame is secondary emotion. Shame and guilt are different. Shame makes one feel as inadequate, worthless, not valuable. Guilt is regret over actions one has done. Regret is a real action. To be shame-based acknowledges that an act may be wrong but more, you as a person are worthless.<\/span><\/p>\n

Shame is a common occurrence with depression.<\/span><\/p>\n

How do we approach shame?<\/span><\/p>\n

First, we realize that the thoughts that accompany shame are depression speaking. It is not you, it is your illness. Our illness lies to us. Especially when it tells us we are worth-less. The truth to rehearse in our lives is that we are precious made in the image of God. Every one of us is important to Him. We are cherished and treasured by God Himself.<\/span><\/p>\n

These \u201ctruth\u201d thoughts can help overcome shame feelings.<\/span><\/p>\n

Secondly, shame leads us to \u201cself-criticism\u201d. Instead we need to practice \u201cself compassion.\u201d Begin treating yourself as you would a friend. What would you say to a good friend? \u201cYou are important to me.\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t care if you have an illness.\u201d \u201cI will stick with you regardless of how you feel.\u201d \u201cYou are precious to me and to God.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Again, you would not tell your loved ones that they are \u201cworthless\u201d, or you just need to \u201csnap out of it\u201d, \u201cyou are unstable.\u201d Those things are unloving. Love yourself in a healthy way.<\/span><\/p>\n

Thirdly, connect with the important people in your life. Shame grows in the darkness. It can die when it is brought out into the open. Talk to the important people in your life. Especially those who are understanding. Good friends will listen. Yes, it is hard in our culture to make good friends. That will be subject for another article.<\/span><\/p>\n

Yes, you will make mistakes. Welcome to the human race. Healthy guilt, regret over hurting others is a good thing, it helps us make appropriate changes in our lives. But a shame response is unhealthy.\u00a0 <\/span>It plays into the lies that your disease plays in your life.<\/span><\/p>\n

Finally, here are some things God says about you. \u201cBefore the world was created, God had Christ choose us to live with him and to be his holy and innocent and loving people. God was kind and decided that Christ would choose us to be God\u2019s own adopted children. God was very kind to us because of the Son he dearly loves and so we should praise God.\u201d\u00a0 <\/span>Ephesians 1:4-6\u00a0 <\/span>(CEV)<\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As a pastor when I talk about my bipolar I feel shame. Yes, I know I shouldn\u2019t. Bipolar is a disease. Stuff happens and bipolar…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":28,"featured_media":2159,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[24,5,9,16],"class_list":["post-2158","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-hope-and-encouragement","tag-bipolar","tag-depression","tag-self-compassion","tag-shame"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nFresh Hope for Mental Health - How to Manage Shame When You are Depressed<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"As a pastor when I talk about my bipolar I feel shame. 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