{"id":18200,"date":"2024-04-11T07:36:42","date_gmt":"2024-04-11T13:36:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/freshhope.us\/baby-steps\/"},"modified":"2024-04-11T07:36:42","modified_gmt":"2024-04-11T13:36:42","slug":"baby-steps","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/freshhope.us\/es\/baby-steps\/","title":{"rendered":"Baby Steps"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Peggy Rice<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

In my personal 10-year journey through depression, I often found myself stuck. I would ruminate on negative thoughts \u2013 things like \u201cI\u2019m all alone,\u201d \u201cI will never get better,\u201d \u201cThis is as good as it\u2019s going to get,\u201d \u201cGod can\u2019t see me.\u201d The list goes on and on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was overwhelmed with the many things that I knew<\/em> could help me get better, but I couldn\u2019t do any of them. I felt paralyzed by them \u2013 exercise, eat right, get on a regular sleep schedule, do something I love to do, hang out with friends, pray, read my Bible. Again, the list goes on and on!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I couldn\u2019t see a way forward. I felt hopeless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some days, just getting out of bed was all I accomplished. And even that was so hard to do! I think I did it for my kids \u2013 to try to keep some level of normalcy in our family life, even though I was only going through the motions. I would often get out of bed, put on my bathrobe, and come out of the bedroom to sit with them at the kitchen table as they ate breakfast. I would pray with them before they left for school. And then I had to fight the urge to crawl back under the safety of my covers, the blankets covering my head to take me into darkness. Some mornings, I couldn\u2019t resist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Other mornings, I\u2019d slowly get dressed for the day. If I took a shower, I\u2019d stand under the water, fighting my negative thoughts and willing my body to stay standing. When the water started to cool, I\u2019d shut it off and get out. Back into the real world. No longer \u201cprotected\u201d by the small enclosure made by the tub and curtain. Back into the bright light of the day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then I\u2019d face the daunting task of deciding what to do. And I couldn\u2019t decide. Sometimes, I\u2019d sit on the couch with a small devotional and read a few verses. I found it very difficult to read my Bible \u2013 hard to concentrate, and the words seemed to move all over the page. So a couple of verses from my devotional was all I could manage. I\u2019d try to pray, but often it was just me crying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I did journal \u2013 a lot! Most of my entries were me begging God to help me. Asking Him to lift the dark blanket enveloping me. Bring me light, peace. Or crying out to Him, asking Him where He was as I sat in darkness. Other days, my entries were of gratitude to Him for getting me through the previous day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had a part-time job, and so most days I had to go to work. The drive was agony. All that time in the car to brood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once I got to work, I could often fake it through the day. Though I only did the bare minimum \u2013 I didn\u2019t have the energy for more. In my darkest times of depression, I could only manage a couple hours of work, and then I\u2019d have to go home. By God\u2019s grace, I worked with a team of people who helped carry my work load when it was too much for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I told my therapist that I couldn\u2019t do all the things that would help me more forward from the darkness of mental illness to the light of mental health. And he taught me about taking baby steps.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had been looking at all the things on the to-do list. And I was overwhelmed. He pointed out that I was<\/em> making progress. By getting out of bed \u2013 that was a baby step in the right direction. By showering. Another baby step. Reading my devotional \u2013 baby step. Going to work \u2013 an even bigger baby step.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He called them \u201cvictories.\u201d And he encouraged me to celebrate them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I tried. When I would get through my shower, I would thank God in my journal for helping me do that. When I put in a couple hours of work, I would write down gratitude for my co-workers who helped me. When I walked around the block, I celebrated in my journal about exercising.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Little by little, these baby steps forward began to increase. Maybe some days were \u201ctwo steps forward and one step back,\u201d but I congratulated myself that it was still forward motion. I expressed gratitude in my journal \u2013 thanking God for helping me with these victories.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My therapist encouraged me to not think of them as little victories vs big victories. Not to put a comparison on them. But just to celebrate them as successes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I began to take the big goals \u2013 for example, hang out with friends \u2013 and break them into smaller pieces. Like: call a friend. Or plan a coffee date.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I broke them into bite-sized pieces, things that I could manage to accomplish. I stopped looking at all of the list, and instead just focused on one thing. And if that was too big, I tried to break it down into smaller tasks. And then I\u2019d celebrate \u2013 express gratitude to God in my journal \u2013 for Him helping me complete it. I tried to just focus on the next thing, and not the whole list. Just one task at a time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I realize now that I had been paralyzed by the endless list of things I \u201cshould\u201d do. By breaking it down into things I could do, I began to move forward. From stuck to unstuck. From hopelessness to hope.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.\u201d Proverbs 16:9<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Peggy has been involved with Fresh Hope as a Group Facilitator for 5 years and as the Hope Coach trainer for 3. You can reach her at<\/em> peggy@freshhope.us<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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