"Where feet may fail
And fear surrounds me
You never fail
And You won’t start now”
(Oceans, Hillsong United)
What are some of the challenges you have faced, or are currently facing, amid your journey with depression? There is a whole realm of unhealthy emotions, inside and out that we have to deal with. Right?
Under the category of unhealthy emotions will fall some of these – Fear, Dread, Sorrow, Shame, Resentment, Loneliness, Confusion. If not all, at least some of these sound familiar, don’t they? These are the ones that we engage within us. The other challenges we face come from the outside – people, words, physical pain…
One of my bigger struggles was the shame factor. I was so ashamed. Ashamed of my depression. And I know that me, you, and many others have been cocooned in this shame, and maybe still are to this day.
Have you felt like you just want to run away. Run from the pain, run from people, run from your depression. And has it ever seemed like you needed to run away, from “you?”
I wanted to run. And I did. Many times. I would have this impulse, out of nowhere to pick up and run. I didn’t know what I was running from. I just knew I needed to get away. So, I would run, on impulse, until I couldn’t breathe almost. I’m not talking about your regular jog, or trek, or brisk walks. None of that. My runs were never planned.
I later realized where the impulsive running came from. It is intensely painful to live inside of yourself, when the pain within is too much to bear. The running was like an outlet. Where’s there’s depression, more often than not, there’s shame.
But…Depression and shame do not have to go hand in hand.
There’s one thing you can do to remedy this #SHARE
Share your heart, share your pain. You may be surprised to know (or not surprised to know) that you are not alone. You will find comrades, within your own community, or church, or work place. Don’t run away from you. You are worth staying with. The only thing that needs to run, is the depression within you.
I love the lines from the song by Hillsong, Oceans. Your feet may fail you, because they are exhausted from the running. And you may be surrounded with fear and shame. So share, share your heart with God.
Pour out the pain before Him, like Hannah did as she cried out for a child. When Eli the priest at the temple, rebuked her because he thought she was drunk, she said to him, “…I am pouring out my soul before the Lord.” (I Samuel, 1:15, AMP). She poured out her sorrow, her complaint, her bitterness, her shame, from being mocked for being barren.
And it says in the same chapter that after all that pouring out, she returned home and her face was no longer sad!
“I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves”
(Oceans, Hillsong United).
Stand up to Shame. #SHARE